You will not be able to build relations with somebody until you build them with yourself. The desire to be crowned can push you off the draught board.
Before making emotional statements ask yourself what information sources you have, whose worldview you think so competent that you have taken it for granted and are spreading around. What could you really vouch for and on what grounds? Even if it is a personal experience is it possible to say with confidence that this experience under different circumstances and with other people wouldn’t bring a different result? We live in the world of probabilities, not firm facts. Maybe.
Your partner will not cease behaving like a child unless you cease behaving like his mother. But you will not, will you? Because when he “grows up” he will get the right to vote and you will have to take it into account and won’t be able to wave it aside. It is much easier now: don’t anger your Mummy, Mummy is tired, live me alone, you can only think of games, get a life, you are a disaster for me.
People manipulate each other not from malice, but out of ingenuous belief that the content of other people’s heads does not differ from those of their own one.
I believe that there should be some cultural inequality between partners – it allows one of them to refine as a teacher, and the other one – as a pupil. But if this cultural inequality is added with intellectual inequality (one is able to understand what the other one is not) or values inequality (what is important for one is not important for the other) relations will be spoilt and the gap will grow.
People lose the senses of proportion and limit in two cases: when everything is allowed and when everything is banned. In the first case a person goes too far, in the second one – his wits end.
Very often it is a mirror pattern: one partner goes mad of impunity, the other one is exhausted with bans – wherever you go you bump into a fence. A girl is tortured by the question: “Why is he allowed everything and why am I allowed nothing?” But she can’t jump over the fence. She is even afraid to approach it.
But once it turns topsy-turvy. All the fences are washed away, everything goes down the drain, revolutions begin and the former relationship bones are being danced on. The one with the rights is ready to drop all these rights if only he can return the former mouse, so speechless and so comfortable. But it is already too late.
Why? Why has it happened so? The mouse has won a mandate for destroying old and reforming life. The mandate is called “Love”. Love is the highest permission. It gives freedom to a slave. Even if not freedom, then St. George’s’day – the opportunity to choose a new lord.
But it was possible not to take the things to the edge if one of the partners hadn’t been blowing hot air so much, and the other one hadn’t been so patient. But for some reason nobody understands it. In any relations – either personal, or business or public ones.
It is so fascinating thinking sometimes that life could have been turned out quite differently, could have led to a broader corridor, a higher floor, a better society, etc. if just one small things had happened differently – a wrong number dialed, a wrong station got off, an inadvertent gaze taken and so on.
I don’t know how can one believe that a person is serious about building a seriогs relationship if he is treating himself so unseriously that is not able to write without mistakes.
I’ll comment on two objections in advance.
1. Many men of genius were illiterate.
Comment. Are you genius?
2. There are people who are medically unable to learn to write without mistakes.
Comment. Are you the one? Do you have a medical certificate?
3. Illiteracy does not mean lack of serious attitude towards oneself.
Comment. Yes, it does.
Relationship partner is not a crutch or a wheelchair. (S)he is a human being sitting near at a bench and paddling with the second paddle in coordination with you.
If you have happiness, you will not have any goals, or even fodders for a good conversation.