To answer the question of who you are (if the “no one” non-dual response is not for you so far) first answer the “who-do-you-live-for” question. And you will have the whole variety of your identities in front of you.
Imagine there is “a wood” in front of you, a period of your lifetime you want to travel through with someone as lonely travel is difficult. And together you start your way along a path as it looks like.
And suppose for some reason you go astray and find yourselves in a swamp. Relationship has deadlocked; there is no way out of it. So the tasks you entrusted it with are not performed any more. You knock about and quarrel with your partner; together you need to go back to the beginning, but you can’t be bored, you regret the time spent and the only thing you want is to blame.