When stones of authority drop out of the building of relations (we push them out ourselves with quarrels and bad habits demonstrating inability to keep control over ourselves) they need to be replaced with something if want these relations to maintain. And they are replaced with duty which kills the ecology of relations, because authority is a desire, but duty is fear. So people who can’t control themselves make their partners unhappy. Love is replaced with pity, respect is replaced with fear, care is replaced with indulging weaknesses.
Many people think that shifting personal boundaries for the sake of a partner killed their relationship. No, it didn’t. Relations were destroyed by the fear of losing control. People could open the door but chained it, which made a gap: there was still control, there was still a cage, but relationship had gone.