Two things seem very strange to me: control over emotions and orgasm with no direct stimulation. In my nervous system they both are in the file labeled “I would have never believed it if I had not experienced it myself”.
You shouldn’t tolerate because you become a partner in evil. The evil you participate in is always directed against you as well. Especially when it was originally meant against you.
Having tolerated once you begin getting used to it. You tolerate one stone on the road and in a year you have to go round a mountain of stones. A habit eats everything out like rust.
Do you use punishment as a game to settle emotional scores? Something like a closet, rods, depriving of sweets, kneeling in a corner, on buckwheat, for example. Do you ask for punishment? Or do you say: “You are punished”? No?
Do you know what emotions are? An example is when one person is saying: “Love each other” and others respond: “Hurray to the wise teacher! Let’s kill everybody who is not in agreement with him”. Emotions are stupid and dangerous, because they easily catch herd instinct (releasing from moral limitations). Other people emotions should be feared as well as your own ones not to find yourself in the high risk area when faceless crowd acts but certain people take responsibility.
Shouting in relations may not manifest the desire to be understood but a childish wail of loneliness. So when a partner is shouting at you try coming closer. Or on the contrary disappear from his or her sight, in nine situations out of ten (s)he will follow you stomping loudly or will even burst into tear of resentment and anger.