Should One Say “No”? (Sheo-Character)

Sasha SheoSheo-character is called a character though this Sheo-Mo element is just one aspect of preferences in the area of head movements: up-down or right-left. So Sheo-character is “yes”,“no” and the whole range of intermediate options.


There is a standard School recommendation: agree three times, refuse one time. It is very approximate as does not take into account meaning of situations (you can agree on trifles and refuse something really important, or vice versa) and a degree these agreements-refusals are made at (from coolness to hysterics).


Sheo-Mo offers a more precise tuning as it accounts for the stage of relationship and the role; you can have recommendations for a definite Sheo-model. These recommendations vary a lot for “offensive” models such as Kept Beauty or Squabbler, and “defensive” models such as Sister of Mercy and Dangerous Voiceless.  


If you do not find anything in common with neither of the models (or identify yourself in several of them) then remember: “Yes!” is
preferable when it is definite, “No!” works better when it is playful.  

Why so? Because “no” cuts one or several yarns in the rope of relationship: stops a dialogue, worsens connection. And what is a relationship generally? It is connection as such. That is why there is nothing like “no” to spoil relations.   

But if “no” is a capriciously flirtation, if it is a game allowing for more variety, sparking off, teasing, attracting, then “no” is possible.

The art of flirtation is general is a skill to prolong time between “yes” and “no” at maximum without losing a partner’s interest.


But even without flirtation “no” can help to come to a better agreement if it is used as a turn or a springboard for communication, not as concrete wall. What does it mean “to come to a better agreement”? It means to satisfy each other’s needs better.

Saying “no” as a game a partner clarifies exchange rules (relations are exchange; do you remember the first Sheo-attitude?).


Civilized people do not ask what they will get in return. Not because they reject the idea of reward, but on the opposite ground – the idea of reward is so obvious for them that it goes without saying.

Moreover it is highly desirable that reward exceeds the deed (in the doer’s esteem) for it attaches additional dynamics to relations, motivates for further actions.

So reveal your Sheo-character wisely. Remember that in nearly all cases it is better to change habitual reactions to some different, fresher ones for at least a short period of time, i.e. for a Sheo-season.