It is not at all difficult…

Sasha Sheoto get clear idea of what is happening or has happened to relationship – we deal with psychology (not medicine or law, for example), so any change is possible. Get somebody fall in love, understand him or her, make up a quarrel, enliven, deepen, return, etc. No problem. There are tens of schools, hundreds of methods, thousands of techniques available.

But one pitfall can complicate it all. And this pitfall is a human desire for complexity to dwell. You are never as partly stuck in your partner as you are stuck in the state of stickness. No one is in love with somebody as strongly as he or she is in love with love itself. That is why objects of suffering can change several times through a decade though sufferings remain the same.

So one should clearly understand what he or she should focus on if the decision to make a change has been made. If a person wants to get somebody fall in love or come back it’s no point learning how to get people fall in love, but it should be learnt how to build relationship with the one who is far from being indifferent to you. So there is no point in turning an unfaithful partner into a faithful one, but it makes sense to start looking at your own behavior as at something more important than behavior of the other person.


Don’t try to improve your partner raising him up to your own level, it’s a lost cause. Improve yourself until you come across a new partner. Ecology of relationship in this case is in choosing a person who will stimulate your own development to the highest and in raising your own value.

And then Greek meets Greek. Desires absolutize. You spend years on learning how to affect the world (that is how to affect hallucination, phantom, illusion – how to make a cloud solid, how to discolour a rainbow, how to change the weather) but not yourself. And it’s because giving up stupid desire to possess what you really have no need in seems like some kind of life fiasco. Though life fiasco is that very hopeless following this desire.

Just forget about it once and forever. It is important not to lift the weight but to answer the simple question who and why should lift it. What will happen when you’ve lifted it? What bonus you expend effort for? What is the cost of reaching the goal and keeping control further on? Is it really worth doing? May be the right thing to do is practicing not to lift the weight rather than practicing to lift it. And to stay calm and indifferent. Oh, you don’t think so, do you? Well, it’s your choice. Anyway, good morning.