Your partner will not cease behaving like a child unless you cease behaving like his mother. But you will not, will you? Because when he “grows up” he will get the right to vote and you will have to take it into account and won’t be able to wave it aside. It is much easier now: don’t anger your Mummy, Mummy is tired, live me alone, you can only think of games, get a life, you are a disaster for me.
People manipulate each other not from malice, but out of ingenuous belief that the content of other people’s heads does not differ from those of their own one.
People lose the senses of proportion and limit in two cases: when everything is allowed and when everything is banned. In the first case a person goes too far, in the second one – his wits end.
Very often it is a mirror pattern: one partner goes mad of impunity, the other one is exhausted with bans – wherever you go you bump into a fence. A girl is tortured by the question: “Why is he allowed everything and why am I allowed nothing?” But she can’t jump over the fence. She is even afraid to approach it.
But once it turns topsy-turvy. All the fences are washed away, everything goes down the drain, revolutions begin and the former relationship bones are being danced on. The one with the rights is ready to drop all these rights if only he can return the former mouse, so speechless and so comfortable. But it is already too late.
Why? Why has it happened so? The mouse has won a mandate for destroying old and reforming life. The mandate is called “Love”. Love is the highest permission. It gives freedom to a slave. Even if not freedom, then St. George’s’day – the opportunity to choose a new lord.
But it was possible not to take the things to the edge if one of the partners hadn’t been blowing hot air so much, and the other one hadn’t been so patient. But for some reason nobody understands it. In any relations – either personal, or business or public ones.
Relationship partner is not a crutch or a wheelchair. (S)he is a human being sitting near at a bench and paddling with the second paddle in coordination with you.
The tree of relations should be watered very-very often, otherwise all the leaves will fall off and there will be only bare branches left. Autumn will come, and will be followed by winter.
A system throws out extra links until it collapses. That is why relations should always be added with something. Even with something that does not bring pleasure, complicates them or push them to the blink of ruin.
The “truth” people tell to each other is not openness and sincerity. It is a picture of their own right mental map with the words scratched across it: “I want this huge, volume, common world comply with my small, private views”. The fact that in response people are asked to piss off has a deep meaning: don’t try to improve anybody until you are asked to. Not to be mistaken (as sometimes it seems a person is yelling for help) agree the price. Bluntly, isn’t it?
Girls, how can you understand whether you love him or not? There is a simple way: if it seems to you that your partner humiliates you it means you don’t love him. Look for another one.
In relations people often behave stupidly – they play the ape, they screw your brains out, they demand for the Moon from the sky, deceive and devalue each other, become unfaithful, drink alcohol, parade, put ultimatums, fight for independence, give publicity to intimate things – and then sinking in a lonely stream of sobs they beg to bring everything back – “It was just a check, just to see whether (s)he loves or not. Didn’t you understand it?”
The general Sheo-principle is saying: the one who needs relations more works on them. Why so? Because (s)he gets more being in a bigger need.