I believe that there should be some cultural inequality between partners – it allows one of them to refine as a teacher, and the other one – as a pupil. But if this cultural inequality is added with intellectual inequality (one is able to understand what the other one is not) or values inequality (what is important for one is not important for the other) relations will be spoilt and the gap will grow.
On “deceit”, “consumerism” and “a one-way-street” cases in relationship: a person who gives himself (or herself) away for free and then, being eaten, claims payment will inevitable feel as “made use of” and deceived, and even insulted if he (she) insists. So set the price right away. And balance accounts every day – it is your guarantee against reproach with manipulations when everything is over.
I want to think that sex is a powerful evidence of human need for inner integration of the male and female essence, that it is the way to achieve entirety, integrity. Consequently, resources people exchange while making sex are of high value. That’s where this fervent desire to take and belong come from. And that’s why sex is fully impregnated with power, that’s why power is so sexy.
Needless to say that emotional dependence is developed towards people we trust the least, but we see resources we need in. That is why if somebody demonstrates dependence on you keep away, don’t turn your back on him or her – or (s)he will stifle you with a tie, strike over the head with a hole punch or will stab a pencil into your back.
Girls’ belief that you should play boy’s games only at the beginning, and then everything will be “serious” is incredible.
Some people in their innocence think that they should rush into relations as soon as possible because life is easier together. “I’m tired being alone”, they say. Generally it is a strange idea, because it assumes that life is even more easier when there are three of you, and it is very easy if you are four together. But no, it is not. Because come together in couples, because for contemporary brain it is the limit load, it will not bear more. That’s why a lonely person is often looked at his or her eyes tenderly and said “You are not yet ready”.
A girl may not be against sex (sure she is not), but first she should find what a boy’s attitude to her is. She would ask him directly, but she is afraid of either a straightforward answer or evident lies. That’s why is asking numerous roundabout questions getting the same roundabout answers which lead to new questions. And if a boy is not impolite enough and does not shut her mouth, they may never come up to sex.
It is naive for a girl to hope that she will come across a boy “strong” enough to do what her parents have failed to: to straighten her brains. The dough should be pressed down, the bread should be cut, the hardtack can only be crumbled, or soaked. But what a squash will it be?
If relations in their development are thought of as of palette it will be clear that different people prefer different colours: someone likes sitting and waiting for a beginning, someone wants the falling love period to last longer, someone strains after the moment when it is all “serious”, someone gets stuck with difficulties of dividing power, someone lives being surrounded by unfaithfulness, some people break up all the time, some cry over their past.
When people fall in love they often get shy and keep silent. They are kind of ashamed of the fact that they have lost self-control and freedom.