Love is treated as a gift only by the loving one. (S)he requires compensation for this gift (s)he can give. So… so for someone who has taken a drubbing with someone’s love, love is often just a burden. Like a diseased. So if you fall in love with someone suddenly, pay attention to him/her, do not smother him/her to death with your love.
Your partner will not cease behaving like a child unless you cease behaving like his mother. But you will not, will you? Because when he “grows up” he will get the right to vote and you will have to take it into account and won’t be able to wave it aside. It is much easier now: don’t anger your Mummy, Mummy is tired, live me alone, you can only think of games, get a life, you are a disaster for me.
People manipulate each other not from malice, but out of ingenuous belief that the content of other people’s heads does not differ from those of their own one.
I believe that there should be some cultural inequality between partners – it allows one of them to refine as a teacher, and the other one – as a pupil. But if this cultural inequality is added with intellectual inequality (one is able to understand what the other one is not) or values inequality (what is important for one is not important for the other) relations will be spoilt and the gap will grow.
People lose the senses of proportion and limit in two cases: when everything is allowed and when everything is banned. In the first case a person goes too far, in the second one – his wits end.
Very often it is a mirror pattern: one partner goes mad of impunity, the other one is exhausted with bans – wherever you go you bump into a fence. A girl is tortured by the question: “Why is he allowed everything and why am I allowed nothing?” But she can’t jump over the fence. She is even afraid to approach it.
But once it turns topsy-turvy. All the fences are washed away, everything goes down the drain, revolutions begin and the former relationship bones are being danced on. The one with the rights is ready to drop all these rights if only he can return the former mouse, so speechless and so comfortable. But it is already too late.
Why? Why has it happened so? The mouse has won a mandate for destroying old and reforming life. The mandate is called “Love”. Love is the highest permission. It gives freedom to a slave. Even if not freedom, then St. George’s’day – the opportunity to choose a new lord.
But it was possible not to take the things to the edge if one of the partners hadn’t been blowing hot air so much, and the other one hadn’t been so patient. But for some reason nobody understands it. In any relations – either personal, or business or public ones.
Relationship partner is not a crutch or a wheelchair. (S)he is a human being sitting near at a bench and paddling with the second paddle in coordination with you.
There are no relations or parting that are forever. “Forever” requires extraordinary hard efforts.
The tree of relations should be watered very-very often, otherwise all the leaves will fall off and there will be only bare branches left. Autumn will come, and will be followed by winter.
A system throws out extra links until it collapses. That is why relations should always be added with something. Even with something that does not bring pleasure, complicates them or push them to the blink of ruin.
On “deceit”, “consumerism” and “a one-way-street” cases in relationship: a person who gives himself (or herself) away for free and then, being eaten, claims payment will inevitable feel as “made use of” and deceived, and even insulted if he (she) insists. So set the price right away. And balance accounts every day – it is your guarantee against reproach with manipulations when everything is over.