You will not be able to build relations with somebody until you build them with yourself. The desire to be crowned can push you off the draught board.
Before making emotional statements ask yourself what information sources you have, whose worldview you think so competent that you have taken it for granted and are spreading around. What could you really vouch for and on what grounds? Even if it is a personal experience is it possible to say with confidence that this experience under different circumstances and with other people wouldn’t bring a different result? We live in the world of probabilities, not firm facts. Maybe.
It is so fascinating thinking sometimes that life could have been turned out quite differently, could have led to a broader corridor, a higher floor, a better society, etc. if just one small things had happened differently – a wrong number dialed, a wrong station got off, an inadvertent gaze taken and so on.
I don’t know how can one believe that a person is serious about building a seriогs relationship if he is treating himself so unseriously that is not able to write without mistakes.
I’ll comment on two objections in advance.
1. Many men of genius were illiterate.
Comment. Are you genius?
2. There are people who are medically unable to learn to write without mistakes.
Comment. Are you the one? Do you have a medical certificate?
3. Illiteracy does not mean lack of serious attitude towards oneself.
Comment. Yes, it does.
If you have happiness, you will not have any goals, or even fodders for a good conversation.
When you bet money as the last resort (expecting it to compensate for all life failures) money will add to the list of disappointments even when you finally get it. The same is with relations and plenty of other things, as hopes do not work, the thing that really works is fear, but it should first be curbed and harness.
When someone was fighting and won it is called strength. When someone was fighting and lost it is called weakness. But both are believe to be a norm for some unknown reason, because if someone deliberately surrended, refused to fight, decided not to languish in the queue and not to adopt an I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude it is called a perversion. I often see people fighting without any wish to do it but out of the wish not to be different from others. To forget it and enjoy life one should have a very advanced mind or should be extraordinary lazy.
What should one think of him or herself to pathetically declare (s)he was wiped the floor with? It would be much more therapy like to write “I am nobody” instead of all these capers.
It is evident that if you are hungry the food will not cook itself, and if you choose to go to a restaurant you will have to pay. As for relationship food it is even more complicated: the food should be cooked the way enjoyable to it.
Your pain will not decrease – the only thing you can do is to try describing it and place on your wall, or make a picture of it, or draw it. Or at least you can suffer in an interesting place surrounded by nice people. Or you can even do everything together. Generally pain is culture fuel.