The aim of Sheo-Mo is to describe the image of a person through simple elements each of which is easy to change having solved two tasks at once: relationship optimization and diversification. Let’s have a close look at such important element of Sheo-Mo vocabulary as Sheo-line.
The line in Sheo-Mo is represented by two simple vectors. Flexibility/rigidity and hardness/softness. We’ll discuss them one by one.
I. Flexibility
Here is a broom or a pinch-bar. You won’t succeed using them as a scarf, tie or a bandage. Why? They lack flexibility. Something like a tape or a rope will be more appropriate for this purpose.
There are people whose line is as straight and rigid as a stick. Some other people’s line is characterized by resilience, like the one of a rod or whip. There also exist people with a line like a jumping rope, it seems to be flexible but is rubber at the same time. And so on till a neckerchief of pure silk.
It is important to understand that “more flexibility” does not automatically mean more profound and strong relationship. It is the matter of combination with the second element. Nevertheless let’s have a look at how to change the flexibility. To do this we should understand how it reveals itself through communication.
How does it reveal itself?
Firstly, through ability/inability to change one’s own views and decisions being influenced by a partner.
Secondly, through the wish/eagerness to explain a partner one’s intentions, doubts, experiences.
How can it be changed?
It is simple. Just do or don’t do what your partner asks you about, depending on what is your habit now. So it covers the first point and it is very simple.
On the second point, move from “process” communication to “concluding” one (or vice versa). In what way? People who we consider tough do not accompany their actions with explanations, do not ask for advice, do not share their opinions and doubts. Switching on (or off) this accompanying communication you will appear as a more flexible (or rigid) person.
II. Softness
If you first palm a rusty metal sheet and then a cat’s belly you will evidently feel the difference. There are very hard people, and there are people who are opposite. And it is not the matter of whether it is better to be hard or soft in relationship, it is the matter of combination with a previous element, flexibility.
The more flexible a person is the better it is for him or her to be hard, otherwise this flexibility will turn out to be a halter. The more rigid a person is the better it is for him or her to be soft – a straight chair back is rather be with fabric sheathing, or you won’t sit on this chair for long.
Don’t mix up rigidity (non-flexibility) with hardness (non-softness). Sheo-Mo allows for rigidity together with softness, and flexibility together with hardness.
How does it reveal itself?
Through the level of physical intimacy, closeness of contact. If a partner is rigid (does not share and doesn’t change decisions) and aloof (does not hug and kiss) relations are painful then, intimacy absents. If a partner is flexible (agrees, shares, explains) and tacks on hanging up on the neck at the same time, then relations become mawkish and remind of a mousetrap.
“I can’t get through to him” (or “a wooden partner”) situation means excess of rigidity in combination with hardness.
“Everything for him on my part and nothing back for me” (aka “bore”) situation means excess of flexibility in combination with softness.
How can it be changed?
It is very simple as well. Softness is regulated through the level of physical contact, as you have already guessed. (Pay attention that it is not sexual contact that is meant here (along Power boundary), but “homelike” one (along the Strength Contour). If you want your Sheo-line be softer nestle, hug, kiss more often. Touch less, be more aloof and your Sheo-line will get harder.
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The essence of the Sheo-line element is ability to diversify one’s behavior in relationship (“to change line”), firstly, and develop the sense of one’s (own) optimum ration of flexibility and softness which will allow keeping up to maximum ecology in relationship, secondly.