At the beginning, during the beguin period, partners do their best to put control over each other checking how far a partner is ready to go to in his or her passion. A girl is obsessed with romance (chivalrous acts of a strong man, as she understands it), a boy is obsessed with with sex (do with me whatever you never did with others). Both is an attempt to place oneself into a personal space of a potential partner, a test for serious relations, not relations as such. For serious relationship to begin the next step should be done: to let a partner win and see whether he or she is able to let you win, i.e. to surrender to each other. If not, to leave each other.